Open Letter to ATTIC

Marc, unfortunately for you, the championship won't be determined by who has the longest arm pit hairs. If it was, I could understand the giddy Rob Deer posting.

Little do you know, about the cancer you are undertaking. Sources close to the Cagers have reported that James routinely took exception to being benched on days he didn't have a game. James thought his name brand recognition alone would carry the Cagers to first place and he didn't think it was necessary to "give minutes" to the likes of Thaddeus Young and Jordan Farmar.

Things got even worse when German native Dirk Nowitzki was brought aboard to help the team. James couldn't deal with the fact that Dirk was taller, didn't have tattoos, and refused to wear a headband. James tried to convince other white players on the team that Nowitzki was a Pansie and that they shouldn't pass him the ball. Brad Miller and Marc Gasol recall numerous occasions in which LeBron would belittle Dirk behind his back, making claims that the German forward smelled like cabbage and that his German national team was a joke (alright, that one is true). James also was the one who went to general manager Andy Ballbach in the first place to force him into trading away David Lee and Mike Miller for reasons that should be obvious by now. And when Ballbach brought in Dirk just to spite LeBron, that was the straw that broke the royal camel's back.

Reports also went on to say that LeBron, after hearing that Kirk Hinrich would be out for 3 months with a thumb injury (and subsequently released from the team), pooled together 20 members of his posse to urinate on the front lawn of Hinrich's 12 acre estate. A move best described as classless and kind of funny, but still classless. The posse then rented out a Chuck E' Cheese and played Whack a Mole until 3am while young children peered through the front window with quivered lips and a broken heart.

For Ballbach, it was the little things that started adding up. LeBron was more worried about late night commercial shootings or conference calls with Japanese business powers than he was with correcting his poor free throw percentage or correcting his duck-like walk with his toes pointed outward. The racial tensions were just too high and LeBron had to go. One has to wonder how LeBron will mesh with new teammates Yao Ming, Mike Dunleavy, Kevin Love, Beno Udrih, and to a lesser extent, Jason Kidd. How will they co-exist?

The season is young and everyone still has a chance for championship glory. And the Cagers for one, are very excited about what the Big Gay Al era has in store for them. And with the racial issues now put aside, Dirk is free to whip up delicious batches of chocolate cake, potato salad, and apple strudel for all to enjoy without the fear of ridicule. The chemistry is as good as it's ever been and everyone is focused on the same goal, winning the championship that has apparently already been won.

Power of 40

Here are some of the top performances from the past week:

1. a) Stephen Curry vs. James Madison (52), Oklahoma (58), and Winthrop (53)
-He averaged 35.7 points, 5 threes, 8.3 assists, 3 steals, and 2.3 rebounds a game.

b) Blake Griffin vs. Mississippi Valley St. (47), Davidson (50), and Gardner-Webb (66)
-He averaged 26.7 points, 20.3 rebounds, 3.3 assists, and 3.3 steals a game.

2. James Harden (50) vs. Pepperdine
-33 points, 12 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals, and a three.

3. Lester Hudson (47) vs. Elon
-29 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, a block, and a three.

4. Jeff Teague (45) vs. N.C. Wilmington
-31 points, 5 rebounds, 5 steals, 2 assists, and 2 threes.

5. a) Luke Harangody (44) vs. Loyola Marymount
-27 points and 17 rebounds

b) Patrick Mills (44) vs. Fresno St.
-27 points, 6 steals, 5 assists, 4 threes, and 2 rebounds.

6. Gani Lawal (43) vs. Mercer
-27 points, 9 rebounds, 3 blocks, 3 steals, and an assist.

7. Hasheem Thabeet (42) vs. Miami
-19 points, 14 rebounds, 7 blocks, 1 assist, and 1 steal.

8. Chase Budinger (41) vs. UAB
-27 points, 6 rebounds, 4 threes, 3 assists, and a block.

Week 4 Review

There weren't any major questions posted this week in terms of the rule book. Trades were the clear/cut topic of the week, as the league saw it's first two trades executed, both of which involved first rounders.

Trade number one:

Cousy's Cagers trade Devin Harris, Mike Miller, David Lee, Mike Conley, and a 1st round pick

to

Handsome City Inc. for Dirk Nowitzki and Anthony Parker

I wasn't specifically targeting Nowitzki but I had been throwing out 2 for 1 offers to a few owners in hopes of freeing up space to sign Ray Allen and his sweet ass jump shot. I had the most cap space at the time and was one trade away from being able to sign Allen, so when Handsome City asked me what it would take to get Devin Harris, I made him an offer. Whether you thought it was a fair deal or not, you can't argue that this was a completely lopsided trade, worthy of being vetoed on first sight. Perhaps under a different format, this trade wouldn't be as acceptable but you have to remember that Harris is a young point guard on the rise who is under contract for the next 5 years, a contract that never exceeds $10 million in any one of those seasons. Where as Nowitzki's contract will be $20 million in 2009 and $22 million in 2010. There's no way I'll be able to keep both Paul Pierce and Nowitzki next year when they would be taking up $40 million of my payroll (nearly 2/3 of the estimated $62 million off season cap). Now I'm not going to act like I wasn't happy to be getting a player of Nowitzki's stature, but the acquisition did force my hand into making deal number two:

Trade two:

Cousy's Cagers trade LeBron James, JaVale McGee, and a 4th round pick

to

ATTIC for Al Jefferson, Rudy Gay, and Ramon Sessions.

While I did accomplish my goal of signing Ray Allen via the Nowitzki trade, it did come at a price. Allen's $18 million contract put my team nearly flat up against the cap with little room to maneuver. I no longer had 12 guys on my team that I felt were worthy of consistent playing time and I wanted some roster flexibility back in my life. I had Jefferson and Gay tabbed as 2nd rounders coming into the draft and they're two players I've coveted for sometime now. I'm happy to have them and Sessions on board and hopefully this trade works out for both sides. ATTIC should have Monta Ellis and Mike Dunleavy returning from injury sometime within the next weeks/month and has D-League standouts, D.J. Augustin & Jason Thompson, waiting in the wings to take a roster spot as well, so trading away quantity for the best player in the league probably wasn't that hard to do.

On a lighter note.....

The Bucks had an all you can eat hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, and soda promotion on Friday night. Dan (Zephyrs), Adam (minority owner of Arlie's Hogs) and myself attended the Bucks/Knicks game and we all got our money's worth by night's end. My final boxscore read: 5 hot dogs, 2 nachos, 2 popcorns, and 2 sodas while Dan piled home 6 dogs of his own. Adam showed some surprising restraint and his stat line is not even worth putting into print. The Bucks came away with the victory against the shorthanded Knicks by the score of 104-87.

And in a stroke of pure genius, Todd (Arlie's Hogs majority owner and GM) had McGinn's sports bar customize him a grilled cheese burger on Saturday night. He opted to go with Swiss in one cheese sandwich and cheddar in the other. When the waitress first brought it out, it looked like the bread wasn't flat enough and I figured the taste of bread would dominate the sandwich. But I was way off. The burger patty itself was the perfect size, not too thick where it starts tasting like a hunk of meatloaf and not too thin where it could get lost in the crowd. The bread wasn't flattened too aggressively and not overly greasy. Each bite was like chomping into a cheesy cloud of bliss, soft and buttery. Pickle chips and ketchup were the only other ingredients added to this hand held heart attack, I may have opted for lettuce and tomato as well, but it was delicious as presented. It took me back to when I tried stuffed crust pizza for the first time, I knew regular burgers would never be the same for me again. It didn't take a lot of arm twisting to get the waitress to ask the cook if this concoction could be whipped up and they only charged $9 and some change for the wonder burger and some fries. Quite a deal since a grilled cheese alone went for 4 or 5 dollars and a burger alone was 7 or 8 dollars.

Junk food and basketball, a great combo for fantasy owners, a deadly combo for athletes. Good thing I'm not an athlete. Until next week, this is your wheelin' and dealin' commish signing off wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving.

The Power of 40

Every Monday I will try to highlight some of the top performances of players from our D-League rosters. Taking a page from Bill Simmons, a performance will be considered noteworthy if a player meets or exceeds a total of 40 in combined points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, and threes. I believe the Sports Guy's benchmark of 40 only includes points, rebounds, and assists but I'm expanding on his idea so more players can be included.

With that said, here are some of the top performances from the past week:

1) Stephen Curry (55) vs. Guilford
-29 points, 10 assists, 9 steals, 3 rebounds, 3 threes, and a block.

2) Lester Hudson (53) vs. Maryville
-27 points, 8 steals, 7 assists, 7 rebounds, and 4 threes.

3) Luke Harangody (47) vs. South Carolina Upstate
-30 points, 14 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 assist, and a three pointer.

4) Hasheem Thabeet (46) vs. Western Carolina
-23 points, 17 rebounds, 5 blocks, and a steal.

5) Blake Griffin (46) vs. American
-24 points, 18 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal, 1 block, and a three pointer.

6) Yi Jianlian (44) vs. Miami Heat
-24 points, 10 rebounds, 5 threes, 4 assists, and a block.

7) James Harden (40) vs. Mississippi Valley State
-24 points, 10 assists, 3 rebounds, and 3 steals.

If you don't know who owns which players, then I suggest taking a look at the league's spreadsheet to get yourself up to date.